Yellow Cinnamon Cupcakes

Nothing some charming child-like art can't fix, hm?!!

I forgot Mother's Day. Well, I didn't, precisely - Eldest Brother had it all in hand with a joint pressie from all four of her offspring, so I knew we had the gift sorted, but I didn't manage to get a card in the post.  For possibly the first time in my life I suspect. Shocking! Bad daughter. She has forgiven me of course; mothers are good like that, and so to celebrate I thought I would write an ode to my mother.

Trouble is, I'm not awfully good at the sentimental.  We are rather more sarcasm and irony based in our gene pool, and actually showing our emotions is, cough cough, ahem, stiff upper lip, not quite the done thing. So instead, I thought I would pay homage to a trait of my mother's which I am CERTAIN all your mothers have too - the random and apparently innocent things they take massive exception to.  I mean, good old-fashioned shouty outrage.

My mother says she used to be a very patient person, which makes us all hoot with laughter, and then says she doesn't think she is all that opinionated, which makes us all positively snort our drinks out through our noses; and then she says "I'm not aggressive am I?" which makes my father guffaw out loud and then move swiftly away.
"I call your mother The Rottweiler, you know," he says.

Anyway, so here they are, the Top Five Things My Mother Takes Great Exception To

Let's go on an Anti-Cinnamon demo!

1: Cinnamon.
Seriously; it's becoming quite the family joke to offer her cakes specifically because they have cinnamon in them so we can see her absolutely outraged reaction to it.  She maintains that cinnamon is trying to take over the world, like an evil dictator.
2: Basil

And basil - who's with me? Placards?

Basil and Cinnamon are probably in it together.  I think perhaps Cinnamon is the leader, and Basil the thuggish loyal henchman who'll do anything Cinnamon says, in their relentless pursuit of entry in to all dishes. ("Why does everything have to have bloody basil in it?")

But it's yellow...

3: Yellow
If ever you see something, be it flower, clothing, wallpaper, piece of art, jug, car, fabric, book cover, whatever - and you say "Oh that's nice, isn't it?" she looks at you as if you have completely lost your marbles.
"But it's yellow..." she says, emphatically, staring at you.
4: Cupcakes

No, no, I don't get it.

This one makes me fully crack up laughing. Quote "What is with all this cupcake business?  Whatever happened to fairy cakes for heaven't sake?" It's one of those things she just 'doesn't get'. I love that - "I just don't get it!" I find myself going "But, MU-U-U-UM! You don't have to GET it!" Like a teenager.
5: Men's Loos on Television

Ok. Kind of with her on this one. As she puts it, "Oh for Heaven's sake, MUST we see men weeing on television? Is it strictly necessary?  Why does everything have to be so lavatorial? I do not wish to see urinals on my television in the evening."


I find these things so funny.  Let's face it, we all have situations we don't like, such as the cheek of those marketing messages that ring you up and they're not even an actual person, bins being left halfway down the road after the binmen have been, lost phone signals, parking oversight facilitation officers, or whatever the new word for parking attendants is, women putting their make-up on on the train, and people who miss the beat when they sing. Or don't sing in tune.  Or both.
Ok, some of those are mine, I admit it.

Us siblings' partners, those saintly individuals who did not deserve what they got, bless them, when they took us on, look at us askance when we laugh at the things our mother does.
"But YOU do that, too, you know that don't you?" they say after we snigger as our mother bellows "DOOR!" after someone left it open.
"No I don't! Do I?"
"Um, yes, you do, and you also point out that you do not want to live in a corridor..."
"No, that's not true, I don't say tha...do I? Do I really?"

So there you have it. Oh sure, we all have laugh as my mother goes into one, and one of my brothers says "Oh wind yer neck in, Mum!" but we are all heading in the same direction, and sure as eggs is eggs, we'll be doing it in about, ooh, one and half years.
Actually, my brothers already do go off on ones.
Us girls are just too nice; although my sister is a LOT scarier than me.

Ooh, can I just say, tuna.
Tuna, I just can't bear it.
Why does everything have to have tuna in it? What's with tuna?
I just don't get it.

You're so priiiiiddy Mum.....and one thing she DOES like - tartan. I've tartaned her up!

What doesn't your mother get? Share!